Prayers Needed

We were told that our dossier was going to be submitted this week, probably on the 20th. It didn't happen. I was told that the SDA found a "glitch" with our dossier. The glitch is that our marriage certificate has an expiration date of 8/31/2007. I was told that the SDA has "raised the question" and that it needs to be updated as quickly as possible. I am less than thrilled about this because I asked a MONTH ago if we needed to have it updated. I was told no because we would travel before it expires.

Knowing that we have a child waiting that is facing institutionalization, I am sure that you can understand my annoyance with this careless mistake. But then again, as it was put to me, "the extra 10 days or so that it sets you back is not really the end of the world". But it could be 10 more days that Nadia may have to stay in the institution. And it is 10 more days that she will have to spend not knowing a mother and father's touch and love. Ten more days that she will remain caged up like she was when I saw her in April. And on a selfish note, 10 more days that I do not get to hold her and tell her that she is loved.

Please pray for this process as we have yet another HUGE decision to make. And apparently we won't know if Nadia has been transferred until we actually get to the SDA for our appointment. There are no connections that can keep her from being transferred. She should have already been transferred. Her paperwork for her transfer has already been sent. She will be five in September. It is a miracle that she has been in the baby orphanage this long. I'm just praying that she is not lost if she does get transferred.

And please pray for my patience because honestly, it is running very low. I know God is in control and has a plan. I still believe that plan is to prosper us and not to harm us. I know that He has that same plan for Nadia, Dasha, and all of us. That I am trusting in.

It's been a rough several days, ever since Mother's Day. I apologize for any emails that I have not responded to or phone calls that I have not returned. I have needed time alone to reflect on God, His purpose, and His plan for my life and family. I once read this on solitude: Solitude is the practice of being absent from other people and other things so that you can be present with God. In solitude, we rest from our attempts to re-create the world in our image. In solitude, we say to God, "I am here to be changed into whatever you like." In solitude, we learn to "wait on the Lord."

Today I am realizing the joy and lessons that are to be learned from where I am at right now. It is only when I stand still and listen to God that I find true peace. It's when I stop the whirl-wind of emotions and begging God for immediate answers that I say, "Here God, take it all, it is Yours" that I can hear His voice. As I learned many years ago in Al-Anon, it is simply "Let Go and Let God".

God is teaching me to lean on Him and trust in Him on a deeper level than I have ever known. I have been in a valley the last few days that I have not felt since after Chloe went to Heaven. I just know in my heart that God sent her here and took her for a reason. It was all a part of a bigger plan. He carried us through her sickness and her physical death. And He is still carrying us today. There are so many things that I cannot understand, but I am trying to keep an eternal perspective. If only I could see right now the things that God has planned for us. Today I will try to learn to hold onto God and ride through the storms rather than cling to a piece of rotten driftwood while kicking, crying, and fighting to stay afloat. At least that is how I feel when I am not holding onto God. Let's see...a piece of rotten wood or an all mighty, all powerful, all knowing, Alpha and Omega, God! This morning the first words that I heard when I started my car were "hold fast, help is on the way". Then as the day progressed I remembered that God has a plan to prosper us and not to harm us. And so I am waiting and trusting Him in His plan for our lives.

I read this today. It is a comment in my Bible from Joyce Meyer.
Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart; commit your way to the Lord and He will bring it to pass. (see Psalm 37:4,5)
Enjoy where you are right now on the way to where you are going and do not try to get ahead of God. He has a great plan for you, and even though you may have to wait, you will be blessed in the end.

Waiting is so hard, but waiting requires patience. And patience is a rare virtue. So I am thankful that I am learning to be more patient.

Please pray that God will guide us in making our decisions that lie ahead and that He will give us discernment to understand His will. Please pray for all of the orphans all over the world that are in need of families. Also, please pray for all of the families that are traveling to bring home their children. Please continue to pray for the mothers that are unable to bring their children home, that God will give them comfort. Thank you

Waiting Until Next Week

As of right now, we are just waiting until next week to see if our dossier will be submitted. They are going to double check Nadia & Dasha's availability for us.

We are still praying and waiting for God's guidance.

Thank you for your prayers.

Happy Mother's Day

This comes a little late in the day, but I want to say Happy Mother's Day to my mom, my step mom, and my mother-in-law. In addition Happy Mother's Day to all of the special mother's that already have children or are waiting on their new additions to come home.

To my mom: Thank you for always being there for me and being such a good influence in my life. You have always been there for me and supported me through out the trials of my life. I am so blessed to have you for a mother and best friend! Thank you for giving me life, instilling love in me, and for always believing in me.

To my step-mom: I'm so blessed that you are a part of our family. You have always shown me love and treated me as your own. Thank you for always being thoughtful, loving, and supportive.

To my mother-in-law: I am also very blessed to have you as a mother-in-law. Thank you for being kind to me and for being there for both of us.

And to my sweet Chloe: Thank you for making me a mother and teaching me what a mother's love is all about. You have forever changed me and who I am. You brought us all closer to God and taught us what unconditional love is all about. I was so blessed to have you as my daughter on this earth. You are still my daughter and nothing will ever change that. I will love you forever. You are my most precious little miracle.

Availability of the Girls

We found out the availability of the girls this week. We have good news and bad news. Nadia is available, but we were told that Dasha will not be available until December. We are unsure of what we are going to do at this point and are praying a lot for guidance. We do know that we will be going back for Dasha around her availability date. I can not leave her there.

We have another huge decision to make that is very difficult for us. We are praying and seeking God's guidance. I will update as soon as we have peace from the Lord about this decision. That's all I can really say right now. Other than we are being faced with a decision that is unbearable for me to make. Please keep us in your prayers.

Update

Yesterday I started having a very peaceful feeling come over me when I would think about the girls. I felt like we would get some good news today. And praise God, we did at least get some dates!! The dates that we have been given sound very optimistic and we are very hopeful that we will have our girls home before too much longer.

I was told that we should receive the availability of Nadia and Dasha by the end of this week. Our dossier will be submitted to the SDA the week of May 19th, probably on May 20th (my dad's birthday). We were told that it will probably be reviewed and approved within a couple of weeks (rather than the typical eight weeks), and then our travel date will be about 30 days or so from them. So the optimistic prediction is that we will be traveling around Mid-July. I hope that it will be that soon! I'm ready to get them home!!! Please continue to pray that our dossier will be approved without any issues or delays. Also, pray that both of our girls will be available if that is God's will. Thank you all for your prayers!! God is answering them.

Also, please continue to pray that Roma will find a home very soon. We have raised a grant of $550 for him in hopes to help him find a home. Pray that all of the orphans will find homes and that until then God will give them comfort, and angels to watch over them to bring them joy.

Hope for the Future

We are still waiting. Our facilitator told me that the SDA is closed until Monday. So we will have to wait a while longer. I am so anxious to get some news and I am praying that it will be good news. Some good news would do my soul so much good right now. Mother's Day is coming up and I just pray that our dossier will be submitted by then. It's going to be a difficult holiday for me and I would just really like some good news by then.

Then there is the thought in the back of my mind that Chloe relapsed in May. Then her birthday is in July. She went to Heaven on August 15th and then my birthday is August 24th. I'm just praying that this summer will be a season of renewal and not more loss. While we are grateful for the blessings and lessons that we received from having and giving Chloe back, we would not be human if we did not still miss her everyday, many times a day. It's been hitting me really hard the last few days. I guess it is because Rick has been in California on a business conference and I have been here alone. It is just so empty and quiet. It has been a good opportunity to think and listen more to God, but lonely as well. I still rejoice in the Lord that I will see Chloe again! But, it sure does seem like a long waiting period some days.

I know that no matter what the outcome of our adoption that God is at work here and good will come from it. We're just praying that they will accept and approve our dossier. Things are VERY uncertain over there right now in regards to international adoption. I have heard that special needs adoptions will not be affected, but I don't know of anyone that has had a dossier accepted since they put a freeze on dossier submission. But I do know that God loves us and all of the children and He is looking after every single detail. It was very discouraging to me when the law not allowing single parents to adopt (from the children's country) was passed. While this does not affect us personally, it does affect many of the families and children that we were excited to see go home to them. It has rattled me, a lot, and I just don't understand why God allows these things to happen. Of course, I know how limited my vision is compared to God's. It just doesn't make sense to me right now. But from an eternal perspective, God will judge the ones that are hurting these children and families and they will have to answer for this hurt and pain that they have inflicted on the innocent for politics and greed.

God led me to this scripture a couple of weeks before the dossier submissions were put on hold... This scripture speaks to me more and more each day. I know the passage is not speaking of the country that we are hoping to adopt from, but it sure does hit the nail on the head! I'm praying and hoping that God will remove the current director and place someone that loves the children and will look out for their best interest. This passage gives me great hope that help is on the way.

Isaiah 1:23-26

23 Your rulers are rebels,
companions of thieves;
they all love bribes
and chase after gifts.
They do not defend the cause of the fatherless;
the widow's case does not come before them.

24 Therefore the Lord, the LORD Almighty,
the Mighty One of Israel, declares:
"Ah, I will get relief from my foes
and avenge myself on my enemies.

25 I will turn my hand against you;
I will thoroughly purge away your dross
and remove all your impurities.

26 I will restore your judges as in days of old,
your counselors as at the beginning.
Afterward you will be called
the City of Righteousness,
the Faithful City."

I ran across this devotional and prayer and it helped me today. I hope that it will help others too. It is written by Barry Adams

My plan for your future
has always been filled with hope.

Jeremiah 29:11
11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (NIV Bible)

We live in a world that sometimes seems void of hope. Wars, famine, pollution, recessions, etc. can cause us to become easily discouraged when we look at the prospects of our future. Discouragement can lead to depression, and depression can lead to hopelessness.

When we are feeling hopeless, we see our circumstances and surroundings through a filtered lens that can cause us to continue to spiral downwards in our emotions and our attitudes. In this week's devotional scripture, God says that He has a plan for you, a plan that will prosper you and not to harm you, a plan that will give you hope and a future.

While the economy may be saying one thing to us, God is saying another. While your circumstances may cry out hopelessness, God is saying that He has a plan to prosper and not to harm you. While we don't know what the future does hold, we know who holds the future. We can trust in the goodness of God to care for us in the midst of situations that seem hopeless.

Our hope is not in our circumstances, but in God our Father. That does not necessarily mean that life will always turn out the way we expected, but it does mean that we can always trust in our Father to love us and watch over us. If we commit our lives into His care, we are guaranteed from an everlasting perspective, that we will have an incredible future filled with hope awaiting us, that will last forever.

PRAYER
Father, I thank You that You have a plan for me that is filled with hope and a future. I know that You have plans to prosper me and not to harm me. I need not fear and I need not despair for you are in control of my life. Help me to commit my life to You, trusting in Your faithfulness to accomplish all that You have promised to do. In the name of Your beloved Son Jesus I pray, AMEN.

Also, please pray for all of the families and orphans that were affected by the new singles law. Lift them up and ask God to give them peace and comfort. Please pray that the orphans will find families again. Also, pray that the families that have lost their children due to this, will not lose hope and that God will lead them to other children in need. Satan tries to tear us down, and he will take the most precious and innocent from us to achieve this. But through our pain and loss, God can bless us and use us to be a more bright shining light for Him than we were before the enemy attacked. We have eternal victory through Christ and the pain of this world is only temporary. It is but a grain of sand in the sea of eternity.