It's been a rough several days, ever since Mother's Day. I apologize for any emails that I have not responded to or phone calls that I have not returned. I have needed time alone to reflect on God, His purpose, and His plan for my life and family. I once read this on solitude: Solitude is the practice of being absent from other people and other things so that you can be present with God. In solitude, we rest from our attempts to re-create the world in our image. In solitude, we say to God, "I am here to be changed into whatever you like." In solitude, we learn to "wait on the Lord."

Today I am realizing the joy and lessons that are to be learned from where I am at right now. It is only when I stand still and listen to God that I find true peace. It's when I stop the whirl-wind of emotions and begging God for immediate answers that I say, "Here God, take it all, it is Yours" that I can hear His voice. As I learned many years ago in Al-Anon, it is simply "Let Go and Let God".

God is teaching me to lean on Him and trust in Him on a deeper level than I have ever known. I have been in a valley the last few days that I have not felt since after Chloe went to Heaven. I just know in my heart that God sent her here and took her for a reason. It was all a part of a bigger plan. He carried us through her sickness and her physical death. And He is still carrying us today. There are so many things that I cannot understand, but I am trying to keep an eternal perspective. If only I could see right now the things that God has planned for us. Today I will try to learn to hold onto God and ride through the storms rather than cling to a piece of rotten driftwood while kicking, crying, and fighting to stay afloat. At least that is how I feel when I am not holding onto God. Let's see...a piece of rotten wood or an all mighty, all powerful, all knowing, Alpha and Omega, God! This morning the first words that I heard when I started my car were "hold fast, help is on the way". Then as the day progressed I remembered that God has a plan to prosper us and not to harm us. And so I am waiting and trusting Him in His plan for our lives.

I read this today. It is a comment in my Bible from Joyce Meyer.
Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart; commit your way to the Lord and He will bring it to pass. (see Psalm 37:4,5)
Enjoy where you are right now on the way to where you are going and do not try to get ahead of God. He has a great plan for you, and even though you may have to wait, you will be blessed in the end.

Waiting is so hard, but waiting requires patience. And patience is a rare virtue. So I am thankful that I am learning to be more patient.

Please pray that God will guide us in making our decisions that lie ahead and that He will give us discernment to understand His will. Please pray for all of the orphans all over the world that are in need of families. Also, please pray for all of the families that are traveling to bring home their children. Please continue to pray for the mothers that are unable to bring their children home, that God will give them comfort. Thank you