Still Waiting and Praying

We are still waiting to find out the availability of the girls. Hopefully we will hear something soon, but I read that their government is closed until May 4th for Easter and May Day. If that is accurate then we will be waiting a while longer.

We're just praying that God will keep His hands on this situation and that we will bring home the children that He has planned for us. Of course, we hope that it is Nadia and Dasha, but we will love any child that God blesses us with just the same! Boy or girl!! While I originally thought that two girls would be great in order to have sisters, I know that God may have other plans. We will be thrilled with whoever God leads us to adopt and are so anxious to get children back in our home. You don't realize how empty a home can be until you have a child and then they are gone. We miss the babbles, toy banging, laughter, music, and most of all the hugs and kisses. We're just ready to get through the bureaucracy of it all and get them home, whoever they may be. They will be ours and they will be so loved!

Please continue to pray that God will make it clear to us the children that He has planned for our family. We weren't expecting to run into issues with Nadia and we certainly weren't expecting the little treasure named Dasha to be hidden away in that orphanage. We were very sad to let Zhenya go and I want to be clear that it was due to his age, not his gender that we gave him back. I felt like there was a higher reason that I was unable to meet him when we went. Dasha is the last child that I came to in my search for Zhenya. We later found out that he was in the hospital with the chicken pox. If I had met him then it would have been much harder for me to decide between him and Dasha. As it is, Dasha is in the most critical need for adoption because she is near the age of transfer, only 6 more months! Zhenya is only 16 months old and we just pray that he will find a good family. It was hard enough deciding to give him back after looking at his pictures for months, but if I had seen him I don't know what I would have done. Dasha just stole my heart and she is so sweet and delicate. The thought of her being sent to an institution is just unfathomable to me. It is for ALL of the children, but especially one that is so delicate and small like her. I feel like there was a reason that she was the last child that I saw in my search for Zhenya. He simply wasn't there, but here was this little angel that no one knew about. And then her name means "gift from God". I just feel that God is at work and I pray that she will be ours. Nadia was the first child that I saw when we entered their room and I knew it was her as soon as I saw her. I felt it in my heart. I had only seen her from the side of her face, but I knew it was her. I just felt it!

I think it's really neat that Nadia was the first child that I saw and Dasha was the last. I'm praying and hoping that they will be ours. But if not, I know that God sees the bigger picture and will clearly lead us to the children that He has planned for our family. There are so many children there in need of a mommy and daddy and we will be honored to call any of them our own. We're just really praying for the chance to be parents again to two of these special little children. We are still so thankful that God blessed us with Chloe's life and through her death He has opened this door. Leukemia stole our daughter, but God has given her eternal life! God has been so good to us and sometimes I still can't believe that He blessed us with such a beautiful child as Chloe. We have been so blessed and fortunate! Even in our trials with Chloe, God used them to help us grow closer to Him. Without Chloe we wouldn't be where we are today. God taught us so much through her! We still have much to learn! Our prayer is that He will bless us again with more of these beautiful, special little children. I'm so ready to get them home!

Please pray that everything will go quickly and smoothly for us, if that's God's will. And if there are storms ahead, that we will have the faith to get through them. Going back over there is going to be so hard for me and I know it will take a toll on Rick as well. There are so many needy children and it is absolutely heartbreaking the conditions that they are being kept in. They only get out of bed to be fed, changed, and bathed. The toys are non-existent and the toys they do have are not stimulating in any way. There are not enough toys for all of the children. They are literally laying there deteriorating. No matter who we bring home, we will be absolutely heartbroken for those that we have to leave behind.

The little guy that I mentioned in my last post is named Roma. He is already four years old and is facing institutionalization in June. He desperately needs a family. Roma is very high-functioning considering his environment. He is just the sweetest little angel! He has so much potential and he does not deserve the fate that lies ahead for him! He needs to find a family right away!! I have decided to try to raise money for him through Chloe's Foundation. If you feel led to, please go to www.chloesmiracle.com and make a donation. ALL donations that we receive from now until July 1st will be put in a grant for Roma. This little guy has had a special place in my heart for a long time and I will greatly appreciate any donation that anyone can make to help a family better afford his adoption. Any donation will be 100% tax deductible! If by chance we are unable to adopt Nadia or Dasha, we plan on adopting Roma. If we end up adopting Roma, then all grant money that has been raised for him will be transferred for another little girl named Victoria who is 3.5 years old and also near the age of transfer. We absolutely WILL NOT use any money put in Roma's grant for our personal gain if we adopt him. That will be specifically for Victoria and in the hopes of finding her a family. In the future, we hope to choose a child a month to raise money for. In Chloe's obituary we vowed to start a foundation in her honor to bring joy and hope to children in need. If these children do not need and deserve joy and hope, then I don't know who does. Please help Roma find a family. I cannot express how grateful we will be to anyone who can help this special little guy. I will be posting Roma and Victoria's pictures on this blog tomorrow. Please make sure that if you make a donation for Roma that you go to www.chloesmiracle.com. Please do not donate on this blog. That account is specifically for our adoption. The "donate" button on www.chloesmiracle.com will go straight into our foundation account and will be applied toward a grant for Roma. I will fix it so that you can donate for him straight from this blog tomorrow to make it easier.

Thank you all for your prayers and support!

Waiting and Hoping

I found out today that our facilitator had an appointment with the SDA and was going to try to find out about the availability of Nadia and Dasha. I hope that she was able to get an answer and that we will find out soon. I'm just praying that we will be able to get both of them, but I know that if it doesn't work out that it is God's will. He has His hands on the situation and on all of us.

It's just hard to think that there is a possibility that we may have to leave one or both of them there. I'm anxious to find out their availability, but at the same time I am scared to find out. I know that God has a plan and knows what is best, but it is hard to let go of my own desires. I'm praying that I won't have to and that we will be able to bring these two girls home. There is another child that has had a very special place in my heart for a while now that is available, if things do not work out with our girls. He recently lost his family due to a stupid law that was passed. I am just heartbroken for him and the family that was supposed to be his. He is very near the age of transfer and I would love to bring him home, but I know that if that happens, then we will have lost one of our girls. Please lift this situation up in prayer with us and keep the family that is unable to bring him home in your prayers, as I am sure they are heartbroken over this loss. He is a very special little guy to many of us and we are praying that he will find a home quickly.

Home From My Trip

I'm back from my trip, where we went to offer humanitarian aid, and still pretty tired from it all. I had a great time and can't wait to go back. Hopefully, next time I will be returning with two little angels. If you have noticed the new pictures, you are probably glad see to a frontal view of Nadia and also wondering who Dasha is, and what happened to Zhenya. I did not get to see Zhenya. She, actually turned out to be a he. We asked where the little girl named Zhenya was and they didn't know who we were talking about. It turned out that we were pronouncing the name incorrectly and when they finally figured out what we were trying to say, she turned out to be a little boy. Apparently he was in the hospital with chicken pox.

So why did we decide to try to adopt Dasha? The main reason is that when I picked her up I felt like it was meant to be. She felt like the "missing link". I met many children and while I felt great love and compassion for them all, Dasha felt like she is supposed to be a part of our family. Another reason we decided to try to adopt Dasha is that she is 3.5 and is only approximately six months away from transfer. She's just tiny! Zhenya is only 15 months old, and will hopefully find a family before he is four. We did not know about Dasha beforehand. She just appeared in the orphanage. Her crib was diagonal from Nadia. They were the only two that were able to stand in their cribs in the room they were in. They appeared to enjoy touching each other when I would hold them and go over to the other's crib. Nadia is very active and Dasha is more laid back and cuddly. They are both the sweetest little angels! Nadia felt like a part of our family as well, but I am just afraid to allow myself to feel that way right now. There are apparently some issues going on with her birth mother. I am unclear as to what exactly this means. I did find out that her paperwork has already been sent for her transfer. The only reason that she is still at the baby home is because her birth mother has it tied up in court. So I wonder, does she want Nadia home with her or is she just trying to prolong the expense of paying for her once she is transferred? The last thing I would ever want to do is try to take someone's baby from them. I don't even need to say why I feel that way. My prayer is that if the mother is unable to love her and care for her as she deserves, that she will allow us to adopt her and give her a chance in life. It just seems to me that if she really wanted her, then she could have worked something out after 4.5 years. But, I do not know the circumstances. My prayer is that Nadia will be where she will be most loved. This is all in God's hands and I am trusting in Him to provide the outcome that is best for all involved. I just pray that she will NOT be transferred. That would break my heart. I keep reminding myself that Nadia's name means hope. I just want the absolute best for her and I pray that her mother truly does love her and will make the best decision for her, even if that means she will not come home to us.

Also, we are not 100% certain that Dasha is available for adoption. She should be due to her age, but we were unable to get a definite answer. I emailed our state-side facilitator to see if he can find out if she is clear for international adoption. Please pray that she will be. I love her so much! Her name means "gift from God" and I am praying that she will be our little gift from God! Please continue to pray that our dossier will be approved by the SDA and that we will get a travel date ASAP. Thanks!!

Another Great Devotional

There's not really any news. We are just trying to get our dossier in order. Our facilitator found some mistakes, but they shouldn't be too difficult to have corrected. I'm getting really excited about our trip next Friday! We still have concerns that our dossier will be approved with the current home study, but we followed the path we felt directed to take by God. So I do have peace in that and I know we were obedient to the Lord's direction, so whatever the outcome, it is His will. We are putting our faith and trust in Him. We are praying hard for an approval without having to pay for another home study.

Basically, God led me to give the extra money, that we would have spent on the home study, to help the orphans when I go next week. God told me He would take care of us, if I obeyed. Maybe we will get approved and maybe not, but we have to follow the voice of the Lord. This may sound crazy to some of you. This isn't the first time that I have had a strong leading about "giving". When Chloe was sick and in the hospital we met a couple of ladies from a local church. They came to visit us and we laid hands on Chloe together. We didn't know anything about them prior to this. The Lord spoke to me and told me to give one of them $300. And no, we weren't paying them for healing miracle powers, like you see on TV!! The Holy Spirit led me to do this. I tried to ignore it because I thought maybe it was my imagination, but the Lord kept convicting my heart to do it. So Rick went to the ATM in the hospital cafeteria and got the money. The ladies didn't know what we were doing. Anyway, I made her take the money, even though she protested. She got out to the car and realized how much we had given her and called the room crying. I'm not telling this to say, "Aren't we wonderful people?" I'm ashamed to share it honestly, except that what God did for us in return was so amazing!! Later that same day, one of Rick's co-workers visited Chloe in the hospital. She gave us a check (being completely unaware of the day's earlier event) in Chloe's name for $300!! That money has since been used to benefit the orphans. My point; God looks after all His children!!! We are all the body of Christ and have a responsibility to help one another, to be loving, and giving. What may have seemed like a miracle to the lady from the church was an even bigger miracle to us! It showed us that when we follow the prompting of the Holy Spirit to give, that the Lord will give back to us! The blessing that I received from that was far greater than any of the money exchanged! You can't buy blessings like that! That was a miracle straight from the Lord!

So as I heard the voice of the Lord speak to me again; He promised that if we obey Him and give the home study money to help the orphans, then He will take care of us. I don't know if that means our home study will be approved or not. But I do know that I have a God that is bigger than the SDA, bigger than our governments, bigger than the ocean that separates us from our children, and He is watching over us, all of us!

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.’ (Jeremiah 29:11-13, NIV)


So here's the devotional...

A Victorious Christian

The Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. ROMANS 8:26

We need to rely constantly on the Holy Spirit. We need to remember that Christ dwells in us through the Holy Spirit. Our bodies are the dwelling place of the Third Person of the Trinity.
Why don't we rely on Him as we should? We don't realize how weak we are. We don't realize how strong our enemy is. We may even doubt if God is really going to help us. Or we may think we can do it all ourselves------or that we must.
But we should ask Him to do it all and to take over in our lives. We should tell Him how weak, helpless, unstable, and unreliable we are. It is important that we stand aside and let Him take over in all our choices and decisions. We know that the Holy Spirit prays for us (Romans 8:26) , and what a comfort that should be to the weakest of us.
A victorious Christian is one who, in spite of worries, inner conflicts, and tensions, is confident that God is in control and will be victorious in the end. Whatever our difficulties, whatever our circumstances, we must remember, as Corrie ten Boom used to say,"Jesus is victor!" -Author unknown

My prayer for today... Lord, help me to remember that you are in control and that I can relax and have peace in knowing that the one who has gone before me is my guide! There is nothing that is going to happen to me today that you cannot handle, as long as I submit it to you. Help me to recognize worries and anxiety as soon as they come into my mind, so I can give them straight over to you and not allow them to steal my peace and joy! Thank you for loving me just as I am and dying for me when I was yet a sinner.
In Jesus Name, Amen!

Where We Are Now

We decided after much prayer to go ahead with our home study the way that it is. I talked to two different adoption attorneys in WV that told me that independent LCSW's are authorized to conduct home studies. I just could not get peace about paying the extra money to have an agency update our home study. We made this decision after much prayer and I was led to scripture that confirmed our decision for us. We are going to put our trust in God and see what happens. There are also some issues going on with the SDA. They are saying that all of the dossier slots have been filled for 2008. In the past this did not include dossier submissions for special needs children. At this point we are waiting to see if that is still the case. We plan to try to submit our dossier when I go on my trip over there next Friday,the 11th. Please pray that they will accept our dossier and our home study.

My mom sent me this devotional a few days ago. I thought it was very appropriate for our situation, international adoption in general, and all of our daily lives.

God Values Faith

How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them. Psalms 139:17

How happy would a parent be if his child constantly questioned him whether his needs would be met? The parent would feel frustrated and sad, perhaps even angry that the child did not trust him.
The Bible has scores of references telling us how much it pleases God for us to trust Him for every need. The Roman soldier expressed great faith when he told Jesus just to "say the word" and his servant would be healed. Jesus told His disciples, "Look at the birds...they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?" (Matthew 6:26)
God values our trust in Him above every other character quality. And how do we develop trust? By spending time in God's presence, through prayer, worship, and reading His Word. We develop it also as we step out in faith, and discover He really can be trusted. Are you trusting Him for every need in your life?
Written by Billy Graham

Home Study, Post Placement Update

I haven't updated in a few days because we went to NC for Easter. Before I left the new home study agency sent me a packet of materials. One of the documents that we were supposed to sign and return was a post placement agreement. We didn't sign it because the country we are adopting from does not require post placement visits. Not to mention the cost of the post placement visits are going to cost us around $3,600. So I called West VA Dept. of Health and Human Resources and asked if we are required by WV to complete the 6 post placement visits within the first 6 months after returning home with the girls. I talked to the director over policy and she said, "no, not at all". She told me that the country that we adopt from sets the standards for post placement visits since the children are adopted abroad. I looked up the Title 78 that had been referenced in the agreement and it was for foster placements. It had nothing to do with international adoption. The post placement visits are for after foster children have been placed with an adoptive family BEFORE the adoption is finalized. Our adoption will be finalized abroad and the country we are adopting from sets the standard for post placement visits, according to the director of policy. The country we are adopting from requires post placement reports that are to be filled out by the adoptive parents.

So, basically I refused to sign the agreement and the social worker had the director (that I spoke to) write her a letter stating that the post placement requirements are set by the country where the children are being adopted from. But then she conveniently had her to add "unless the adoption agency or country requires post placements, then they are necessary". The letter was then forwarded to the home study agencies licensing specialist for review.

So I am waiting to see if they are going to come back and require us to do the post placements. I personally have a BIG issue with the state giving the individual adoption/home study agency the authority to require post placement visits. What is the point of creating legislation for agencies to follow if they are going to be allowed to make their own rules anyway?

As it is right now, she is planning on coming out this Friday & Saturday and will not require post placement visits, unless licensing tells her that they are required. I will not be paying for post placement visits unless someone shows me the state legislation requiring or authorizing them to do so. I'd rather take my chances on submitting our home study like it is, with a social worker's license, than pay $3,600 for post placement visits that are not mandated by the country we are adopting from or the state of WV! It's not right!

I emailed the Ukrainian Embassy to the United States to find out if we are required to have our home study backed by a child placing/adoption agency or if the social worker's license will suffice, since she works as an independent. They have a direct email for adoption information. Hopefully they will get back to me soon with an answer. I just found this web-site. I wish I had known about it a month ago. I was looking at the U.S. embassy to Ukraine and it basically said the same thing as the state dept. web-site. I think this will be a more accurate source. They should be able to call the SDA and get answers!

This is all such a money racket! All you want to do is give two children a chance in life and it is made near impossible to get anything accomplished!

We are still waiting on our 2nd set of state background checks. Our original social worker is going to call tomorrow to ask them what is going on.

Well, that's about it. Still messing with the home study issue. Trying not to get ripped off.

On a more positive note; we had a wonderful Easter. I got to spend time with my nephew and that was awesome! He's always a lot of fun! We played with bubbles and airplanes. We missed Chloe terribly, but are so grateful that she was safe in Heaven celebrating Easter with our risen Savior! Easter has never been more real or meant more to me than it did this year. We are so blessed to be adopted into God's family through Christ!

Update & Prayer Request

The special needs foster agency is not going to be able to help us, as I anticipated. I talked to our new social worker today (with the more expensive agency) and she is going to come out on March 28th to meet us and "update" our home study. Today when I spoke to her, she was already working on entering our home study info into their agency format. She said that she will have it completed in time for our trip on April 11th. However, after I told her that it had to be apostilled, before we could submit it to the SDA, she seemed less confident.

I would LOVE to have our dossier submitted on our trip, but it's all in God's hands and He has the perfect timing already worked out. Even it we don't get it submitted on our trip, we are still moving ahead quickly and the paperwork is finally coming to an end! I am still thanking & praising God that we received our I-171h (immigration approval)!!

Bottom line is though, that Nadia is scheduled for transfer in July so every day, much less week, is counting against her being transferred.

Also, we are still waiting on our state background check to come back for the second time. The first notary expired on March 18,2008, so it was basically expired when I got it.

So just be praying that they will send our state background check in time for it to be aspotilled and returned to me before I leave April 11th. And also that our home study will be completed, apostilled, and returned to me before April 11th. Thanks!!

Also, I have a prayer request for a infant girl that just had heart surgery. I'm not sure if I can disclose her name, but God knows who she is. She has not been doing well after her heart surgery. They are having to use a pace maker because without it, her heart beats spardically. She also has not been able to be taken off of the respirator. One of her lungs has a defect that will require later surgery, and her good lung is starting to collapse. They are keeping a check on her for pneumonia. Please keep this little baby girl in your prayers and ask God to heal her lungs and heart. Also, please pray for the family that has been waiting to adopt her domestically.

Thank you for all of your prayers!