Update

Yesterday I started having a very peaceful feeling come over me when I would think about the girls. I felt like we would get some good news today. And praise God, we did at least get some dates!! The dates that we have been given sound very optimistic and we are very hopeful that we will have our girls home before too much longer.

I was told that we should receive the availability of Nadia and Dasha by the end of this week. Our dossier will be submitted to the SDA the week of May 19th, probably on May 20th (my dad's birthday). We were told that it will probably be reviewed and approved within a couple of weeks (rather than the typical eight weeks), and then our travel date will be about 30 days or so from them. So the optimistic prediction is that we will be traveling around Mid-July. I hope that it will be that soon! I'm ready to get them home!!! Please continue to pray that our dossier will be approved without any issues or delays. Also, pray that both of our girls will be available if that is God's will. Thank you all for your prayers!! God is answering them.

Also, please continue to pray that Roma will find a home very soon. We have raised a grant of $550 for him in hopes to help him find a home. Pray that all of the orphans will find homes and that until then God will give them comfort, and angels to watch over them to bring them joy.

Hope for the Future

We are still waiting. Our facilitator told me that the SDA is closed until Monday. So we will have to wait a while longer. I am so anxious to get some news and I am praying that it will be good news. Some good news would do my soul so much good right now. Mother's Day is coming up and I just pray that our dossier will be submitted by then. It's going to be a difficult holiday for me and I would just really like some good news by then.

Then there is the thought in the back of my mind that Chloe relapsed in May. Then her birthday is in July. She went to Heaven on August 15th and then my birthday is August 24th. I'm just praying that this summer will be a season of renewal and not more loss. While we are grateful for the blessings and lessons that we received from having and giving Chloe back, we would not be human if we did not still miss her everyday, many times a day. It's been hitting me really hard the last few days. I guess it is because Rick has been in California on a business conference and I have been here alone. It is just so empty and quiet. It has been a good opportunity to think and listen more to God, but lonely as well. I still rejoice in the Lord that I will see Chloe again! But, it sure does seem like a long waiting period some days.

I know that no matter what the outcome of our adoption that God is at work here and good will come from it. We're just praying that they will accept and approve our dossier. Things are VERY uncertain over there right now in regards to international adoption. I have heard that special needs adoptions will not be affected, but I don't know of anyone that has had a dossier accepted since they put a freeze on dossier submission. But I do know that God loves us and all of the children and He is looking after every single detail. It was very discouraging to me when the law not allowing single parents to adopt (from the children's country) was passed. While this does not affect us personally, it does affect many of the families and children that we were excited to see go home to them. It has rattled me, a lot, and I just don't understand why God allows these things to happen. Of course, I know how limited my vision is compared to God's. It just doesn't make sense to me right now. But from an eternal perspective, God will judge the ones that are hurting these children and families and they will have to answer for this hurt and pain that they have inflicted on the innocent for politics and greed.

God led me to this scripture a couple of weeks before the dossier submissions were put on hold... This scripture speaks to me more and more each day. I know the passage is not speaking of the country that we are hoping to adopt from, but it sure does hit the nail on the head! I'm praying and hoping that God will remove the current director and place someone that loves the children and will look out for their best interest. This passage gives me great hope that help is on the way.

Isaiah 1:23-26

23 Your rulers are rebels,
companions of thieves;
they all love bribes
and chase after gifts.
They do not defend the cause of the fatherless;
the widow's case does not come before them.

24 Therefore the Lord, the LORD Almighty,
the Mighty One of Israel, declares:
"Ah, I will get relief from my foes
and avenge myself on my enemies.

25 I will turn my hand against you;
I will thoroughly purge away your dross
and remove all your impurities.

26 I will restore your judges as in days of old,
your counselors as at the beginning.
Afterward you will be called
the City of Righteousness,
the Faithful City."

I ran across this devotional and prayer and it helped me today. I hope that it will help others too. It is written by Barry Adams

My plan for your future
has always been filled with hope.

Jeremiah 29:11
11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (NIV Bible)

We live in a world that sometimes seems void of hope. Wars, famine, pollution, recessions, etc. can cause us to become easily discouraged when we look at the prospects of our future. Discouragement can lead to depression, and depression can lead to hopelessness.

When we are feeling hopeless, we see our circumstances and surroundings through a filtered lens that can cause us to continue to spiral downwards in our emotions and our attitudes. In this week's devotional scripture, God says that He has a plan for you, a plan that will prosper you and not to harm you, a plan that will give you hope and a future.

While the economy may be saying one thing to us, God is saying another. While your circumstances may cry out hopelessness, God is saying that He has a plan to prosper and not to harm you. While we don't know what the future does hold, we know who holds the future. We can trust in the goodness of God to care for us in the midst of situations that seem hopeless.

Our hope is not in our circumstances, but in God our Father. That does not necessarily mean that life will always turn out the way we expected, but it does mean that we can always trust in our Father to love us and watch over us. If we commit our lives into His care, we are guaranteed from an everlasting perspective, that we will have an incredible future filled with hope awaiting us, that will last forever.

PRAYER
Father, I thank You that You have a plan for me that is filled with hope and a future. I know that You have plans to prosper me and not to harm me. I need not fear and I need not despair for you are in control of my life. Help me to commit my life to You, trusting in Your faithfulness to accomplish all that You have promised to do. In the name of Your beloved Son Jesus I pray, AMEN.

Also, please pray for all of the families and orphans that were affected by the new singles law. Lift them up and ask God to give them peace and comfort. Please pray that the orphans will find families again. Also, pray that the families that have lost their children due to this, will not lose hope and that God will lead them to other children in need. Satan tries to tear us down, and he will take the most precious and innocent from us to achieve this. But through our pain and loss, God can bless us and use us to be a more bright shining light for Him than we were before the enemy attacked. We have eternal victory through Christ and the pain of this world is only temporary. It is but a grain of sand in the sea of eternity.

Still Waiting and Praying

We are still waiting to find out the availability of the girls. Hopefully we will hear something soon, but I read that their government is closed until May 4th for Easter and May Day. If that is accurate then we will be waiting a while longer.

We're just praying that God will keep His hands on this situation and that we will bring home the children that He has planned for us. Of course, we hope that it is Nadia and Dasha, but we will love any child that God blesses us with just the same! Boy or girl!! While I originally thought that two girls would be great in order to have sisters, I know that God may have other plans. We will be thrilled with whoever God leads us to adopt and are so anxious to get children back in our home. You don't realize how empty a home can be until you have a child and then they are gone. We miss the babbles, toy banging, laughter, music, and most of all the hugs and kisses. We're just ready to get through the bureaucracy of it all and get them home, whoever they may be. They will be ours and they will be so loved!

Please continue to pray that God will make it clear to us the children that He has planned for our family. We weren't expecting to run into issues with Nadia and we certainly weren't expecting the little treasure named Dasha to be hidden away in that orphanage. We were very sad to let Zhenya go and I want to be clear that it was due to his age, not his gender that we gave him back. I felt like there was a higher reason that I was unable to meet him when we went. Dasha is the last child that I came to in my search for Zhenya. We later found out that he was in the hospital with the chicken pox. If I had met him then it would have been much harder for me to decide between him and Dasha. As it is, Dasha is in the most critical need for adoption because she is near the age of transfer, only 6 more months! Zhenya is only 16 months old and we just pray that he will find a good family. It was hard enough deciding to give him back after looking at his pictures for months, but if I had seen him I don't know what I would have done. Dasha just stole my heart and she is so sweet and delicate. The thought of her being sent to an institution is just unfathomable to me. It is for ALL of the children, but especially one that is so delicate and small like her. I feel like there was a reason that she was the last child that I saw in my search for Zhenya. He simply wasn't there, but here was this little angel that no one knew about. And then her name means "gift from God". I just feel that God is at work and I pray that she will be ours. Nadia was the first child that I saw when we entered their room and I knew it was her as soon as I saw her. I felt it in my heart. I had only seen her from the side of her face, but I knew it was her. I just felt it!

I think it's really neat that Nadia was the first child that I saw and Dasha was the last. I'm praying and hoping that they will be ours. But if not, I know that God sees the bigger picture and will clearly lead us to the children that He has planned for our family. There are so many children there in need of a mommy and daddy and we will be honored to call any of them our own. We're just really praying for the chance to be parents again to two of these special little children. We are still so thankful that God blessed us with Chloe's life and through her death He has opened this door. Leukemia stole our daughter, but God has given her eternal life! God has been so good to us and sometimes I still can't believe that He blessed us with such a beautiful child as Chloe. We have been so blessed and fortunate! Even in our trials with Chloe, God used them to help us grow closer to Him. Without Chloe we wouldn't be where we are today. God taught us so much through her! We still have much to learn! Our prayer is that He will bless us again with more of these beautiful, special little children. I'm so ready to get them home!

Please pray that everything will go quickly and smoothly for us, if that's God's will. And if there are storms ahead, that we will have the faith to get through them. Going back over there is going to be so hard for me and I know it will take a toll on Rick as well. There are so many needy children and it is absolutely heartbreaking the conditions that they are being kept in. They only get out of bed to be fed, changed, and bathed. The toys are non-existent and the toys they do have are not stimulating in any way. There are not enough toys for all of the children. They are literally laying there deteriorating. No matter who we bring home, we will be absolutely heartbroken for those that we have to leave behind.

The little guy that I mentioned in my last post is named Roma. He is already four years old and is facing institutionalization in June. He desperately needs a family. Roma is very high-functioning considering his environment. He is just the sweetest little angel! He has so much potential and he does not deserve the fate that lies ahead for him! He needs to find a family right away!! I have decided to try to raise money for him through Chloe's Foundation. If you feel led to, please go to www.chloesmiracle.com and make a donation. ALL donations that we receive from now until July 1st will be put in a grant for Roma. This little guy has had a special place in my heart for a long time and I will greatly appreciate any donation that anyone can make to help a family better afford his adoption. Any donation will be 100% tax deductible! If by chance we are unable to adopt Nadia or Dasha, we plan on adopting Roma. If we end up adopting Roma, then all grant money that has been raised for him will be transferred for another little girl named Victoria who is 3.5 years old and also near the age of transfer. We absolutely WILL NOT use any money put in Roma's grant for our personal gain if we adopt him. That will be specifically for Victoria and in the hopes of finding her a family. In the future, we hope to choose a child a month to raise money for. In Chloe's obituary we vowed to start a foundation in her honor to bring joy and hope to children in need. If these children do not need and deserve joy and hope, then I don't know who does. Please help Roma find a family. I cannot express how grateful we will be to anyone who can help this special little guy. I will be posting Roma and Victoria's pictures on this blog tomorrow. Please make sure that if you make a donation for Roma that you go to www.chloesmiracle.com. Please do not donate on this blog. That account is specifically for our adoption. The "donate" button on www.chloesmiracle.com will go straight into our foundation account and will be applied toward a grant for Roma. I will fix it so that you can donate for him straight from this blog tomorrow to make it easier.

Thank you all for your prayers and support!

Waiting and Hoping

I found out today that our facilitator had an appointment with the SDA and was going to try to find out about the availability of Nadia and Dasha. I hope that she was able to get an answer and that we will find out soon. I'm just praying that we will be able to get both of them, but I know that if it doesn't work out that it is God's will. He has His hands on the situation and on all of us.

It's just hard to think that there is a possibility that we may have to leave one or both of them there. I'm anxious to find out their availability, but at the same time I am scared to find out. I know that God has a plan and knows what is best, but it is hard to let go of my own desires. I'm praying that I won't have to and that we will be able to bring these two girls home. There is another child that has had a very special place in my heart for a while now that is available, if things do not work out with our girls. He recently lost his family due to a stupid law that was passed. I am just heartbroken for him and the family that was supposed to be his. He is very near the age of transfer and I would love to bring him home, but I know that if that happens, then we will have lost one of our girls. Please lift this situation up in prayer with us and keep the family that is unable to bring him home in your prayers, as I am sure they are heartbroken over this loss. He is a very special little guy to many of us and we are praying that he will find a home quickly.

Home From My Trip

I'm back from my trip, where we went to offer humanitarian aid, and still pretty tired from it all. I had a great time and can't wait to go back. Hopefully, next time I will be returning with two little angels. If you have noticed the new pictures, you are probably glad see to a frontal view of Nadia and also wondering who Dasha is, and what happened to Zhenya. I did not get to see Zhenya. She, actually turned out to be a he. We asked where the little girl named Zhenya was and they didn't know who we were talking about. It turned out that we were pronouncing the name incorrectly and when they finally figured out what we were trying to say, she turned out to be a little boy. Apparently he was in the hospital with chicken pox.

So why did we decide to try to adopt Dasha? The main reason is that when I picked her up I felt like it was meant to be. She felt like the "missing link". I met many children and while I felt great love and compassion for them all, Dasha felt like she is supposed to be a part of our family. Another reason we decided to try to adopt Dasha is that she is 3.5 and is only approximately six months away from transfer. She's just tiny! Zhenya is only 15 months old, and will hopefully find a family before he is four. We did not know about Dasha beforehand. She just appeared in the orphanage. Her crib was diagonal from Nadia. They were the only two that were able to stand in their cribs in the room they were in. They appeared to enjoy touching each other when I would hold them and go over to the other's crib. Nadia is very active and Dasha is more laid back and cuddly. They are both the sweetest little angels! Nadia felt like a part of our family as well, but I am just afraid to allow myself to feel that way right now. There are apparently some issues going on with her birth mother. I am unclear as to what exactly this means. I did find out that her paperwork has already been sent for her transfer. The only reason that she is still at the baby home is because her birth mother has it tied up in court. So I wonder, does she want Nadia home with her or is she just trying to prolong the expense of paying for her once she is transferred? The last thing I would ever want to do is try to take someone's baby from them. I don't even need to say why I feel that way. My prayer is that if the mother is unable to love her and care for her as she deserves, that she will allow us to adopt her and give her a chance in life. It just seems to me that if she really wanted her, then she could have worked something out after 4.5 years. But, I do not know the circumstances. My prayer is that Nadia will be where she will be most loved. This is all in God's hands and I am trusting in Him to provide the outcome that is best for all involved. I just pray that she will NOT be transferred. That would break my heart. I keep reminding myself that Nadia's name means hope. I just want the absolute best for her and I pray that her mother truly does love her and will make the best decision for her, even if that means she will not come home to us.

Also, we are not 100% certain that Dasha is available for adoption. She should be due to her age, but we were unable to get a definite answer. I emailed our state-side facilitator to see if he can find out if she is clear for international adoption. Please pray that she will be. I love her so much! Her name means "gift from God" and I am praying that she will be our little gift from God! Please continue to pray that our dossier will be approved by the SDA and that we will get a travel date ASAP. Thanks!!

Another Great Devotional

There's not really any news. We are just trying to get our dossier in order. Our facilitator found some mistakes, but they shouldn't be too difficult to have corrected. I'm getting really excited about our trip next Friday! We still have concerns that our dossier will be approved with the current home study, but we followed the path we felt directed to take by God. So I do have peace in that and I know we were obedient to the Lord's direction, so whatever the outcome, it is His will. We are putting our faith and trust in Him. We are praying hard for an approval without having to pay for another home study.

Basically, God led me to give the extra money, that we would have spent on the home study, to help the orphans when I go next week. God told me He would take care of us, if I obeyed. Maybe we will get approved and maybe not, but we have to follow the voice of the Lord. This may sound crazy to some of you. This isn't the first time that I have had a strong leading about "giving". When Chloe was sick and in the hospital we met a couple of ladies from a local church. They came to visit us and we laid hands on Chloe together. We didn't know anything about them prior to this. The Lord spoke to me and told me to give one of them $300. And no, we weren't paying them for healing miracle powers, like you see on TV!! The Holy Spirit led me to do this. I tried to ignore it because I thought maybe it was my imagination, but the Lord kept convicting my heart to do it. So Rick went to the ATM in the hospital cafeteria and got the money. The ladies didn't know what we were doing. Anyway, I made her take the money, even though she protested. She got out to the car and realized how much we had given her and called the room crying. I'm not telling this to say, "Aren't we wonderful people?" I'm ashamed to share it honestly, except that what God did for us in return was so amazing!! Later that same day, one of Rick's co-workers visited Chloe in the hospital. She gave us a check (being completely unaware of the day's earlier event) in Chloe's name for $300!! That money has since been used to benefit the orphans. My point; God looks after all His children!!! We are all the body of Christ and have a responsibility to help one another, to be loving, and giving. What may have seemed like a miracle to the lady from the church was an even bigger miracle to us! It showed us that when we follow the prompting of the Holy Spirit to give, that the Lord will give back to us! The blessing that I received from that was far greater than any of the money exchanged! You can't buy blessings like that! That was a miracle straight from the Lord!

So as I heard the voice of the Lord speak to me again; He promised that if we obey Him and give the home study money to help the orphans, then He will take care of us. I don't know if that means our home study will be approved or not. But I do know that I have a God that is bigger than the SDA, bigger than our governments, bigger than the ocean that separates us from our children, and He is watching over us, all of us!

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.’ (Jeremiah 29:11-13, NIV)


So here's the devotional...

A Victorious Christian

The Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. ROMANS 8:26

We need to rely constantly on the Holy Spirit. We need to remember that Christ dwells in us through the Holy Spirit. Our bodies are the dwelling place of the Third Person of the Trinity.
Why don't we rely on Him as we should? We don't realize how weak we are. We don't realize how strong our enemy is. We may even doubt if God is really going to help us. Or we may think we can do it all ourselves------or that we must.
But we should ask Him to do it all and to take over in our lives. We should tell Him how weak, helpless, unstable, and unreliable we are. It is important that we stand aside and let Him take over in all our choices and decisions. We know that the Holy Spirit prays for us (Romans 8:26) , and what a comfort that should be to the weakest of us.
A victorious Christian is one who, in spite of worries, inner conflicts, and tensions, is confident that God is in control and will be victorious in the end. Whatever our difficulties, whatever our circumstances, we must remember, as Corrie ten Boom used to say,"Jesus is victor!" -Author unknown

My prayer for today... Lord, help me to remember that you are in control and that I can relax and have peace in knowing that the one who has gone before me is my guide! There is nothing that is going to happen to me today that you cannot handle, as long as I submit it to you. Help me to recognize worries and anxiety as soon as they come into my mind, so I can give them straight over to you and not allow them to steal my peace and joy! Thank you for loving me just as I am and dying for me when I was yet a sinner.
In Jesus Name, Amen!

Where We Are Now

We decided after much prayer to go ahead with our home study the way that it is. I talked to two different adoption attorneys in WV that told me that independent LCSW's are authorized to conduct home studies. I just could not get peace about paying the extra money to have an agency update our home study. We made this decision after much prayer and I was led to scripture that confirmed our decision for us. We are going to put our trust in God and see what happens. There are also some issues going on with the SDA. They are saying that all of the dossier slots have been filled for 2008. In the past this did not include dossier submissions for special needs children. At this point we are waiting to see if that is still the case. We plan to try to submit our dossier when I go on my trip over there next Friday,the 11th. Please pray that they will accept our dossier and our home study.

My mom sent me this devotional a few days ago. I thought it was very appropriate for our situation, international adoption in general, and all of our daily lives.

God Values Faith

How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them. Psalms 139:17

How happy would a parent be if his child constantly questioned him whether his needs would be met? The parent would feel frustrated and sad, perhaps even angry that the child did not trust him.
The Bible has scores of references telling us how much it pleases God for us to trust Him for every need. The Roman soldier expressed great faith when he told Jesus just to "say the word" and his servant would be healed. Jesus told His disciples, "Look at the birds...they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?" (Matthew 6:26)
God values our trust in Him above every other character quality. And how do we develop trust? By spending time in God's presence, through prayer, worship, and reading His Word. We develop it also as we step out in faith, and discover He really can be trusted. Are you trusting Him for every need in your life?
Written by Billy Graham